Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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