Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
