Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
