she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize