i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
