have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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