Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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