No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
