it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
