I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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