I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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