Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Congratulations! We have a period
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