You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
