I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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