please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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