every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
