Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize