Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
