I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You're like the curious george of whores
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
