they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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