Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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