Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
