one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize