So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
