When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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