I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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