he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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