i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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