were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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