I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
