woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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