I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
