does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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