im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
