i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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