it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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