oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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