i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
