i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
