I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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