I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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