im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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