I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
