Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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