YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
