That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
