how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
