I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
