she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
