Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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