fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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