Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
