Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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