: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
