just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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