tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
