it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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