We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize