Sponge bath it is.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
