She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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